There are a number of reasons one may experience pain during or after sexual intercourse. The reasons can be physical or psychological and people of all ages and genders may encounter some pain during penetrative sex at one point or another in their lives. Often the pain is nothing to worry about and can be resolved without treatment, but genital pain can also be a way of your body telling you that something is wrong, so it’s always worth getting it checked out by your doctor or a sexual health expert. Painful sex can affect both people with vaginas and people with penises and it can seriously affect their enjoyment of sex and life in general.
Vaginal Pain
People with vaginas can experience pain during or after sex in their vulvas, vaginas or pelvises.
Pain in the vagina can be caused by an infection such as a thrush or STIs like chlamydia, gonorrhoea or herpes. While such infections would have other symptoms like discharge and itching, too, if you think that you feel pain during sex due to an infection, it’s important that you seek help from a medical professional as soon as possible to avoid infecting your partner(s) and making your condition worse.
Vaginal dryness can also contribute to a painful sexual experience. This may be caused by a lack of sexual desire, stress, anxiety, medication, menopause, hormonal changes, a genetic predisposition and more. Therefore, it is always recommended to use a water-based lubricant for any sexual activity as it makes everything smoother and more comfortable for people with vaginas. Plenty of foreplay can also help with relaxation and natural lubrication as during arousal vaginas tend to become more accommodating to penetration.
Vaginismus can also cause pain during penetrative sex. This is a condition that causes the muscles in or around the vagina contract tightly often making penetration excruciatingly painful or even impossible. Vaginismus is an automatic reaction from the body, the muscles tighten up by themselves, it is not something people can control. It is understood that vaginismus might be a fear reaction to penetration, although sometimes people get vaginismus even if they enjoyed pain-free penetrative sex before. People who suffer from vaginismus can still feel aroused and enjoy other types of sexual activities like oral or anal sex. Vaginismus can be treated by talking therapy, counselling, pelvic floor exercises and gradual vaginal dilation with vaginal trainers that help you get used to penetration.
People with vaginas may also experience a deeper pain during sex in the pelvis. This can be caused by conditions such as endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease or irritable bowel syndrome. If problems, vaginal or pelvic pain during penetration persist, you should seek professional medical advice to get a diagnosis for any underlying issues you may have.
Penile Pain
People with penises may experience pain during sex due to infections like thrush or STIs like herpes. These conditions cause soreness and itching and can make the skin on the head of the penis and the shaft extremely sensitive and painful. Infections like these may come with other symptoms too, so it’s very important that if you suspect you may have an STI you seek medical help as soon as possible to stop you from spreading it to your partner(s).
Penile pain may also occur due to a tight foreskin or small, invisible tears on the foreskin, both of these conditions would make penetrative sex painful and may be caused by skin conditions or STIs. If you believe that a tight foreskin is causing you to experience pain during sex, you should visit your doctor and ask for advice. Usually steroid creams, gels or ointments are prescribed to help soften the skin to make it easier to retract. Using condoms and lube for intercourse can make your penis temporarily more comfortable.
Some other causes of painful sex for people with penises include inflammation of the prostate gland, and testicle pain and swelling.
Summary
People of all genders may experience pain during intercourse one time or another and more often than not, this is no cause for concern. Our psychological and physical states influence how we react to penetration and other forms of sex so it’s important to listen to the signals your body is sending you and seek professional help if you believe that something is wrong.
For minor discomfort it’s usually worth trying to use a water-based lubricant, but if you have an allergy or irritation around your genitals, you should consider stopping the use of all products that could be causing it.
If you suspect you may have an STI that’s causing you pain during sex, it’s really important you visit your GP and inform your partner(s) so they can get tested too. Judgement-free help and advice are always available from your doctor. You should be open and honest with your health care professional to make sure they can accurately find the cause of the issue and offer you the treatment you need so you can enjoy pain-free sex again as soon as possible!
